Pint Pub

A surprise entry into the BQ. Pints pub. Because all great Quests started in England, we figured why not make the last quest a tribute to the motherland.
Plus, it was a rainy day and a pint at a British pub sounded great.

Well, true to fashion, Pints calls their burgers "whimpy's" (whimpies?). Being an anglophile, I loved them already. The rest of the questers were in the mood to pose as Brits, so Pints had a point on their side already. I cheated ever-so-slightly by getting dill havarti rather than cheddar on my burger. Sue me, alright? I've been good the whole quest, and I'm lunching in Britain, so rules are off.
See how cute and British it is? Deeelish. Alright, so it wasn't cooked properly - a little overdone. But it was served with chips, so I forgive them.
Pints isn't going to win any prize in the over $5 category, but it gets points for cute British-ness.

City Grill

One word for our Quest to City Grill - OVERRATED!
Boy, for as much hype as is posted on the side of their building, I don't know what City Grill has that Applebees doesn't.
I did as I normally do while questing, enter with an open-mind, order a medium rare with chee and cast my judgment. Even with 90+ temperatures indoors, and extra, extra, extra long wait for everything, warm beers from the tap and crap service, I didn't judge (ish).


After sitting at the bar for nearly an hour and a half, the Questers finally, FINALLY, got their burgers which, to our dismay, were served on Ciabatta buns.
What? No one prepared me for this. I was expecting a hamburger bun, a freaking sesame seed bun. But, ciabatta?!?!?! WTF. It drowned the taste of the burger. Bun:Burger was totally off. If it weren't for the grilled onions that come standard with every burger I might have thrown this one against the wall with my hot-from-the-tap PBR following closely behind. Maybe it was an off day, but "Denver's Best Hamburger" was everything but, in my opinion.
No judges necessary. City Grill, you're dead to me.

Tom's Diner

Serendipitously, we ended up at Tom's Diner for Burger Quest Week 7. Originally, we thought it was time to decide for ourselves if City Grill was indeed "the best burger in Denver" as they claim. However, we were shunned as soon as we walked in the door. "Sorry folks. Hood's broken. No burgers today."
Stranded on the hot pavement of Colfax Avenue we were forced to make a decision. The nearest establishment with meat on a bun was Tom's Diner.And dine we did.
In this bastion of retrofried goodness, we found a contender for Best Burger over $5.
Tom surprised us with a toasty grilled bun, crispy leafy lettuce, fresh tomato, melty Cheddar Chee, pickles atop a perfectly grilled, medium burger.

As you can clearly see, it was a burger of near perfection. Not since the Cherry Cricket has there been so much silence and so many happy, full mouths. The way the burger melted together once inside your mouth was, well it was satisfying. There were 3-4 distinctly identifiable tastes in each bite, which is really all anyone can ask for when eating a burger.
Happily plumped full of red meat, all Questers agreed that City Grille has a lot to live up to.

Judges:

Though my burger rating skills are rusty, I would give it an 8. I felt sad when it was gone.

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8
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HOLY F*CKING SH*T!!!!!!!
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My afternoon food coma should attest to the quality of the burger.
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If i was to die and become a hamburger I would want to be a burger at Toms

Next: Back to City Grill

The Butcher Block

Guess what kids? The Quest is back on.

With little ceremony or planning, off we went to The Butcher Block. With an entrance like this, it's bound to be good.
And it was. This was the perfect spot for the comeback Quest. It falls into the under $5 category, as a Burger with Chee, side of fries, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, onions runs ya $4.50. Friends, in this day and age, that's called a d-e-a-l.As you can plainly see, this is just what the doctor ordered. A nicely portioned burger with melted patriotic American Chee on a toasty bun. I was given the option of tomato, onion, lettuce (iceberg, mmmm) or mayo. Or? Can't I get them all? Yes. Yes. Settle down. They'll throw all of it on the plate for free. The burger lacks a bit of zest, and they sure aren't asking how you want it cooked, but really, it's called The Butcher Block. So, what do you expect?
As an added bonus, there's a pleasant soundtrack of yapping mechanics in the background.

It might not be the overall category winner, but it made a strong showing.

Heather couldn't make it for the grilled cheese today. She was too busy being a pussy at home.

Judges:

Probably a 7

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eh, 6 ish

Cherry Cricket

Well friends, what is better than a Cricket Burger, a beer and a warm day? Ok, well lots of things actually. But, in respect to Burger Quest, nothing really comes close. We had intended to go to The Butcher Block, but it was 72 º and basically perfect, so the patio at the Cricket won.A true medium cooked all-beef hamburger topped lovingly with american cheese (that's freedom cheese to you patriots), tomatoes (salmonella-free), and romaine lettuce laid to rest on a toasty bun, served in a waxed paper basket with a pickle spear for $4.90. Yes, since you asked, this is pretty close to what Man intended when he invented hamburgers.
The Cutaway:Could you not eat that all day long? Well, um, actually no. You'd be sick. But, that's a damned tasty burger isn't it? Unlike other burger venues we've quested, you can actually tastes the delicious meatiness. The cheese melted on the burger and the joyous cold crisp of tomato and lettuce is the exact taste one is looking for in a no-frills, top-level cheeseburger.

Judging by the absence of burgers in everyone's baskets, you can assume that all Questers were incredibly pleased.

Judges:

Best burger so far. Best bun, juicy burger, great table, fantastic company.
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8
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*Burp* Fan-frickin-tastic.

Next week: The Butcher Block...seriously.

Week off

After four straight weeks of Burger Questing, we decided to take a week off, lest we start looking like this:
Next week, we're back on and headed for The Butchers Block.

My Brother's Bar

Into the above $5 category we quest. The first stop, My Brother's Bar. Now, if you live in Denver, and you like burgers and fine imported beers, you've been to My Brother's bar. There are many options for burgers - The Ralphie (bison), the JCB (jalapeno cream cheese burger), the Johnny (gr. onions and three cheeses). And because of this, the Burger Quest really fell apart. Some questers felt there was no way they could merely eat a cheese burger when they could devour a specialty burger. Well, dissenters, you failed the quest this time. I myself held true to the Quest rules and stuck with a cheeseburger.
As you can see, it was incredibly satisfying. IN fact, this is the only picture of our Quest to My Brother's because I was too busy sucking face with my burger. It's cooked medium, super juicy on a soft, slightly grilled bun. Served with a caddy of condiments (jalapeno peppers, pickles, onions), it's truly a divine burger experience. Just an all-beef patty, perfectly grilled on a bun. Sometimes, that's all it takes. Don't put sauce or pickles or ketchup on the burger. Let me be the judge of what condiments are right.

So, as the first stop in the over $5 burger category, Mr Brother's Bar ranks quite high.

Oh, Heather the Vegetarian took this quest off and went for a vegetarian reuben. Figures.

Judges:

Burger - 10 (Johnny Burger)
Fries - 9
Orings - 8
Fountain Coke - 1

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Burger: 7
Good meat and not overcooked with some pink left.Bun is higher grade bread adding to the experience.

Fries: 6

The use of Canola oil robbed it of some that good ol fried taste.

Thicker cut and cooked well.

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JCB - the only burger I know at My Brothers. It's never given me a reason to cheat and even look at another burger. My taste buds are tap dancing like Gregory Hines in White Nights.

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JCB is simply the best.

Next Week: The Cherry Cricket

Crown Burger

Into the 3rd week of questing we went, hungry as ever. Crown Burgers on South Colorado Blvd was the destination. Just driving into the parking lot my stomach got excited. Large printed yellow letters on the window screaming at me not to disregard the $3.29 breakfast burrito special or the Kebab Plate. Yes, this certainly would be a treat. One might get scared that a place that calls itself "Crown Burger" doesn't advertise their burger specials on the window. Well friends, that's because they don't have to. Their burgers are so damned tasty that they sell themselves. At full price. No specials necessary. Though there were mushroom & swiss, bacon and even pastrami options at Crown Burger, all questers went with the Quarter Burger with cheeee - a mere $3.15.



Need I say more? This burger was a beaut, a beaut I tell ya. Perfect, though thin, amount of meat, shredded lettuce, tomato, special sauce (presumably ketchup mayo mix) on a sesame seed bun. Not too big. Not too small. All bites were met with yumms and head nods from all questers. Who knew Greeks could make burgers?


But....there was a fatal flaw. No pickles. Now, I don't know about you, but for me, nothing makes a burger a burger than crunchy pickle slices on my bun. Needless to say, Crown Burger doesn't agree with that sentiment. They chose not to add the pickles. So, what could have been the perfect under $5 burger fell short due to a lack of pickles.

On a side note, best fries we've had yet. And, very interesting o-rings - they were tossed in corn meal.

Heather the Vegetarian pronounced this the best grilled cheese she's had so far. Must have been the special Greek touch.

JUDGES:

rate the burger a 7.5.
I rate the fries an 8.
I rate how I smell now a 1.

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Burger -- 9. I didn't realize it needed pickles until Jessica mentioned it. I agree with her, but I didn't lower my score for it. Good move with the special sauce. All around, a satisfying burger.

Fries -- 8.5. Crispy = Yum

Bonus points for Cherry Coke.

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Ya, ya. Real good.

Tami's Burger Haven

Though it was an overcast day in May, it didn't stop the quest from embarking on the second challenge in the Summer Burger Quest 2008. Strategically positioned behind Lakeside Amusement Park, Tami's Burger Haven lives up to its name.
Burger. With or without cheese. That's all. Sure, fries and orange Fanta on the side, but here, it's all about burgers.It's the home of the 6 inch hamburger. So what do you think I got? Yep, a sixer with chee. At first site, it was large, and presumably full of cheesy, burgery goodness, yet it failed to live up to the hype after the first bite. Burger: bun is off.

With a 6 inch, paper-thin pattie on top of shredded lettuce, tomato and onion, between two large buns, there's little room for the complete taste of a burger. Some perspective:

I should've followed the lemmings and gone with a 4-inch double with cheese, increasing the chance of tasting the burger. Behold the 4 inch double with cheese:In any case, a lovely time had by all discovering a new burger joint in this western town. We all left smelling like a grilled vat of oil and isn't that the sign of a successful burger lunch?

Oh, and always, Heather The Vegetarian had the grilled cheese (with pickles this time) and pronounced it "not as good as Griffs." Must have been the lack of oil.

JUDGES COMMENTS:

I would go back.

Burger = 6

Really thin patty but taste was fine.

Fries = 3

Undercooked (not always bad) and not much taste.

Shake = 4

A little thin and taste was so-so.

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7. i liked the buff burger. a healthy alternative with the same (almost) burger taste.

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8 on the 4-inch double. Good meat to bread ratio. 3 on the fries.

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10 but I am bias. Not many diners have buffalo.

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7 and yes.

Griff's Hamburgers

Some may say it was the perfect day for launching Summer Burger Quest 2008. And, it was. 72º Sunny, not a cloud in the sky. With smiles on our faces and hunger in our bellies we set off for South Broadway and Griffs Burgers.

For the most part, it was a maiden voyage for each of the questers. You could sense the excitement as we stood in line ogling the menu which consisted of Options 1, 2, 3, 4, or grilled cheese, chicken burger, fish burger, shakes, fries, o-rings. A menacing counter attendant, presumably Griff himself, took my order. I went straight for #2 Giant Cheeseburger with everything (pickles, no onions, tomato, shredded lettuce, ketchup, mustard), fries, drink. Note to future questers, always specify your drink selection. Griff silently stared a hole through my soul trying to determine my drink selection rather than just ask me.
I was pleased. No desire to curl up between the buns and hug the burger forever, but still pleased. It was a flat burger, big, but flat. Not quite a mouthful, but more hefty than McDonald's. Definitely tasted like a cheeseburger fried on a grill. The fries were definitely fried in animal fat, making them deeeelish, of course.
The monster burger:














And, Heather The Vegetarian gets the grilled cheese, which was so good that this is all that's left:




















AND THE JUDGES HAVE SPOKEN:

Burger = 3
Tasteless grade C meat.

Fries = 6
Like the thin cut fries. Taste was good.

Shake = 3
Shake tasted like playdough.

Wouldn't go back unless it was the last place open at 3am and Chubby's was closed.
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5. I would go again, order specifically and probably give it a 6.

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5 minutes after Griff's
*rating: 8*

30 minutes after Griff's
*rating: 8*

1 hour after Griff's
*rating: 5*

2 hours after Griff's
*rating: 2 (literally)*
Would I go back? I'd still give it one more shot.
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So, all in all, not too bad, not too good.
Next stop: Tami's Burger Haven

What the F is a burger quest?

It's a citywide journey to find the greatest burger in Denver conducted by creative soldiers dedicated to the deliciousness and beauty of grilled patties of red meat. Diners, dives, drive-ins - anything goes. We level the playing field by always ordering the same burger at each burger joint. If you order it with jalapeños and bacon the first time, you've gotta love jalapeños and bacon because it's always going to be on your burger.

Two categories:
Under $5 Burger
Above $5 Burger

Two rules:
No chains
Heather the Vegetarian always gets a grilled cheese